Pozwól mi spać
by MunkenKirkland
Summary: "I'm like, not going to make it. You totally know it as much as me. So just... Let me sleep now, 'kay? Keep going." Feliks smiled, urging them to move on. The walkers wouldn't get to feed on him, he wanted to chose how he died on his own. LietPol.


Summary: "I'm like, not going to make it. You totally know it as much as me. So just... Let me sleep now, 'kay? Keep going." Feliks smiled, urging them to move on. The walkers wouldn't get to feed on him, he wanted to chose how he died on his own. LietPol, hints of LietPrus at the end.

Feliks fell down on the frost covered ground, coughing violently. The day was lovely, the air crisp, carrying only a tinge of cold that signalled that the winter was coming. A fine day to die, really.

"No, nonono! Feliks, come on! Get up, we have to keep moving!"

Toris whipped around when the blond did not respond, gaze anxiously flickering over the empty road before he looked at his best friend and lover. Gilbert was just a few metres ahead, shotgun ready in his hands as he too slowed down.

"What's wrong? We can't stay here!"

The area was not safe, all three of them knew. It was an abandoned road, and roads carried cars that carried people, people got bit and infected.

Maybe in another age, another situation this would have been beautiful scenery. They were high up in the mountains, and as far as the eye could see there were forests and lakes, water glittering in the first weak rays the sun sent out. It was a miracle that it God kept making it rise over their broken, burning world.

The Polish man drew a wheezing breath, a small smile forming on his almost completely blue lips. It was not strange that he was the one that handled the cold the worst, because he was the weakest one. A burden, that was too scared of guns to be able to learn how to use them.

The only thing he did well was too cheer his two companions up. He was the one who kept them human, the one who made them stop and watch the small things of beauty that was left, even as they blasted the head off of another infected person.

Toris' gun clattered to the ground despite Gilbert's warning, and he hurried over to Feliks, kneeling by his side. "Why are you just sitting here? We have to move, Feliks, come now!" His voice was filled with desperation because he already knew that they would have to leave the blond behind, leave him here to –

He could not finish the thought without feeling ill. They had gone through all of this together, the death of Raivis and Ludwig, Gilbert's broken arm, the first people they had been forced to kill... No. Not now. They had come so far, and now this?

"Toris, stop like, freaking out. I like it here." Feliks looked up at the brunette; his eyes still the same clear green they had been since Toris had seen them the first time, the day Feliks found Toris tied to a tree by Ivan. He had been furious, and had sent them both to the hospital when he later picked a fight with the big Russian bully.

The Pole was oh, so tired now. Never again would he be able to defend the Lithuanian against a bully, that much was certain.

The wound in his chest was sending throbbing waves of pain through his body, and his head was reeling.

"Scheiße!" Gilbert stomped over, dropping his gun as well. It was dangerous, because now no one could shoot any walkers that happened to show up.

Feliks managed to giggle at the German's attitude, a small trail of blood trickling down his chin.

"Language, Gilbo." The albino rolled his eyes, trying to hide his obvious worry. All three of them jerked when a bird shrieked and took flight and Gilbert reached for his gun, sighing in relief when he realised what it was.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Feliks opened his mouth to speak, but started to cough just as he was about to.

"I don't know," Toris quietly responded, clasping Feliks' shoulder. "It wasn't this bad when we left the house..."

Gilbert reached into his pocket to get the antibiotics, but Feliks shook his head.

"As I said, I totally like it here. It's pretty, almost as pretty as like, me." When Toris was about to say something he hushed him, continuing with a lower tone. "I'm like, not going to make it. You totally know it as much as me. So just... Let me sleep now, 'kay? Keep going."

"No!" Toris almost slapped him, shocked and angry that he _said out loud what we have all been thinking the last three days... _The stray thought shook him to the bone, and he lowered his hand.

"F-Feliks... Come on, you can still make it..." He tried to smile, hand trembling. "As tave myliu..."

"You've always been like, looking out for me. I love you too, Liet, but I am too tired. I'm so far from home, and I feel so cold..." The words made the Lithuania close his eyes, the infamous nickname he had nearly forgotten making him shudder.

They knew that he would die here, it did not matter if they wanted it or not. Feliks had already accepted his fate, and it was about time Toris and Gilbert did too.

Neither of them wanted it, though. Saying goodbye is hard enough as it is, so how the hell do you say goodbye for the last time?

How can one live with knowing that this is the last moment, the last breaths the person will take?

Toris broke down into tears, pulling the Polish man close. They had shared it all. He could not... He just could not do this!

Gilbert wrapped his strong arms around them both, keeping them together as usual.

"You sure?" Feliks was not surprised that it was Gilbert who broke the silence. He always knew what to do.

"Yeah. I've spent like, the last half hour bleeding out." When they looked down they could see that his pretty pink shirt indeed was soaked in blood despite the thick bandages they had wrapped around him.

"No, Feliks, no... I don't know how to do this... I can't say goodbye to you, I can't..." The words were muffled against Feliks' soft hair, Toris' hands cupping his cheeks, trying to memorise exactly how he looked, how he felt.

"I can't –"

"You have to. Don't say goodbye, we'll like, see each other again. I'll see you guys in heaven where I'll be like, the cutest angel EVER."

Those words made even Gilbert tear up but he looked away, knowing it was hard enough on Feliks as it was. He could see that it was a hawk that had scared him earlier, and strangely enough it made him a little hopeful, seeing it soar over the woods, up in the bright blue sky.

"I'll see you, okay?" Feliks smiled, pressing his cold lips to Toris' trembling ones. "Gimme the worst gun. I don't want them to like, feed on my fabulous flesh."

Toris could only nod, pressing it into Feliks' clammy hand. This was it. The last time they would touch, talk, see each other and by God, did it hurt! He felt like he was being ripped apart, like he could not breathe anymore.

Suddenly Gilbert pressed a kiss to the Pole's cheek, tugging Toris away. "Come now."

They picked up their guns, and started to walk. Toris noted that Gilbert wiped at his eyes repeatedly, but he himself could not cry. This was not real. They had lost others, sure, but not like this. No one had been this brave.

So it could not be real.

He did not dare look back for a final goodbye, because then he would have broken down.

When they had turned around the corner Feliks picked up the gun, smiling slightly. He looked out over the sky, taking in every detail. It was all so beautiful, so precious to him.

Now that it was time to leave he realised how much time he had wasted on hunting happiness when it had been right in front of him all the time.

"I'm like, totally going to bug Raivis to death. I wonder if they have skirts in heaven?"

He slowly raised the gun and then the hawk shrieked.

Toris grabbed Gilbert's hand when he heard the shot; silently walking with him towards what they hoped was a safe haven.

It seemed like they had nothing left to lose now that Feliks' bright smile would never again be seen.

Little did they know that in the clear sky above them his soul was already at peace, carried to heaven by the closest thing to a phoenix the Earth had.

If they had known they would have probably been more than jealous, left behind in a world where they were doomed to death.

A/N: I DID IT! WOO! I managed to write out another fic! *dances around* This was some random idea I'd played around with for a while, and now that I watched Stake Land I finally wrote it out. I feel horrible for killing Feliks off though, and I spent more than two hours listening to sad, depressing music. I fail. Well, if I made it too hard to figure out then this is inspired by the Walking Dead. I mean, Jim. My heart broke when they left him behind.


End file.
